The Most Beautiful And The Ugliest

This blog has taken me days to write, perhaps with so much to write, yet finding no word appropriate to describe. Pondering on the cross. I have come to one conclusion, my own conclusion. The cross, the most beautiful expression of the love this world has ever witnessed, but is also the ugliest human act ever performed on this earth.

The most beautiful expression of the love of God, that God Himself would actually send forth His only begotten Son to come and die for mankind. My puny human mind still cannot understand why should the Creator send forth His One and only Son to come and save a group of rebellious creation? I have done many models of buildings since trained as an architect, much as I love my design and creations, I still cannot bring myself to die for them. What I will likely do is that I will abandon the old and create a better one.

Looking at the expanse of the universe, I wonder why would the Greatest Being, the Creator, bothers to come into this earth, unto this tiny planet, to be confined to the dimension of time, body and space, to live among us, and yet the most unfathomable part of it all, His destiny is to die, His purpose, one great mission in His life, to die for His beloved - us.

This is love. I believe it will take me the whole eternity to discover...

The ugliest human act. We put our Creator, the One that brought us forth into this world, to death. We turned our back against Him, the One who gave us everything on this earth to enjoy. This act alone is worse than any war or human act that we human beings have ever performed.

The ugliest human act in History ever, putting the One who created us to the cross.

What a moment in history, when the most beautiful expression of love and the ugliest act coincide!

When I ponder on this, everything around me fades away, every fear and cause of worry, every undesirable circumstance no longer seems threatening, for if Jesus loves me enough to die for me, what is there to fear anymore? Frustration comes, disappointment surfaces, fear appears, worry invades, when I lose sight of the cross... The cross, where my Lord shows me how much He loves me. The greatest Being loves me!

As I ponder, the perspective in life becomes clearer and clearer. The reason why there are times I still feel frustration, disappointment, betrayal, let down, anger, all these happen in one form or another when I lose sight of the One who died on the cross for me... All my loved ones and friends out, there, do help me out with this. If (whenever) I ever fall into these traps again in the coming days, do remind me instantly that I have again lost sight of the One who love me and gave Himself for me, this is the best thing you can ever give to me then, friends.

As for now, I endeavour by His grace only, that this vision will never be taken away before my eyes. I pray the same for you too.

Blessed Christmas! Jesus loves me! He is the reason for this joyous day!

(I finished the painting above last year during my 6-month long break, titled "behind the cross", this is where I am living now, enjoying all that He did on the cross for me.)

Holiday Holiday

Enters into my first week of school holiday this week. Just immediately after the final day of school for this semester, I flew off for a really short holiday to Taiwan! And before I know it, the holiday is over, and I am now sitting down before my laptop, typing this.

Going to school is really fun, for the last 5 months, attended school in the morning and rushing off to work in the afternoon was a daily joyful routine. Not sure how to put this into words, it was something I enjoyed doing daily. Despite the full day of concentration required, despite the little flexibility to my time management (I used to be able to decide when I want to go holiday, and for how long, normally for about 3 weeks), despite lesser time for entertainment, watching TV, etc, it is truly fulfilling. It is almost like I have lived my day to the fullest, with little to regret.

Now that I enter a month of school holiday, back to a full day's work. Today is just the first day. Still adjusting, at least for today, it is truly quite hectic with 2 meetings, and several hours at site, climbing up and day, solving issues and problems, still it was fun.

Quite amazing, for the last 6 days, I went Taiwan with my nephew, our free and easy trip, actually more like a shopping and eating trip. I like Taiwan, though this is not my first time there, I still like Taiwan, and will likely go back again in a few years time. Shopping is great, at Wufenpu and Ximending, fashion and style that I love! Food is really not expensive. Way finding is easy, afterall, we stay in Ximending, a great location to stay! Besides visiting the "must-visit" such as 101, museum, and memorial halls, we venture slightly further north to Danshui, Yangmingshan (lots of hiking), go down to Wulai, and go east to Ruifang by train, visited Jiufen, one of those lovely scenic streets that I loved, has a little flavour of Kyoto. Finding the way around was not really tough, but the road names are a bit confusing, and taking buses are not easy if one cannot read Chinese.

The whole trip has marks of Daddy God's blessing. We have such wonderful pleasant weather throughout, there were no rainy days (though internet weather forecast said it was likely to rain for a few days), the weather was cool except for the last day when it was hot, however, that was the day that we also learnt how to take bus to lessen walking and it was our shopping day anyway.

The journeys out of Taipei was planned really quite last minute, one day before the actual day, simply relying on brochures and lonely planet (though the latter was not really reliable, some important information was missing, such as not informing us that visitor's centre at Yangmingshan is closed on Monday, some buses that brings one around scenic areas only run on public holiday and weekend, etc, etc.) But still, thank God, we made it to those places and made our way back too. And we managed to save a substantial amount as we did not take on any package tours which I initially was planning to, and therefore save more money for Christmas shopping!

This trip will likely mark the last oversea holiday for this year for me, till I finally graduate in May next year, before I go for my next holiday, not sure where.... But definitely, something to look forward to. However, meanwhile, I will enjoy my holiday, and look forward to school reopens! Cheers!

What Is Your Song?

Recently i encountered two heartwarming episodes, that I know I must write down, so that after some years when I looked back, I would still remember these 2 almost insignificant yet powerful episodes.

Just today, as I had to visit the bank, I reluctantly went to have my breakfast at the market with my mom. (Actually I don't really like wet market since young, I dislike the wet feeling that gets on the slippers which is always associated with it, plus the rain today, it is likely to be wetter.)

Anyway, as I sat down waiting for the food, sharing table with 2 very young children, the older brother, I think is about 9 to 10 years of age and a little sister, maybe 6 years old or younger. The brother, though still young, bought the prata breakfast for the sister and himself, after which he went to buy drinks. As he sat down, unconsicously, he push the curry gravy as close to his sister as possible even though he is also sharing the gravy. Then he opened the lid of the Ribena that he has ordered, and pour for his sister first and then himself. All the while, the sister had already started eating even before the drinks have arrived. Finally, when the sister had been well taken care of, he proceeded to eat his own prata. The sister had an egg prata, whereas he himself had a plain prata. I was speculating, perhaps he gave the better one to his sister? Yes, love is displayed right before my eyes, an unselfish love, expressed by a young little boy for his younger sister, a very touching scene that I witnessed. Thank God for the breakfast I had at the wet market. I almost wanted to commend the little boy, but I decided not, after all, it is something so natural and so beautiful, anything that I attempted to add to it will spoil the beautiful scene.

Last Sunday, as usual, I would spend my time from 9pm to 1045pm watching the Taiwan singing competition (similar to American Idol, but to me, much more watchable, and heartwarming). Each week they will come up with a theme for the competitors to select their songs to sing. So it happened during that week, the topic was to choose a song that represent their lives or an important episode in their lives. Each chose different songs, several chose songs that are sad, sentimental, be it in memory of a lost loved one, the difficulties in life, etc. At that moment, I felt in my heart, a question popped up, if I am one of the contestants, what will be my song. Almost instantaneously, I said to myself, "Amazing Grace?", for surely I was once a wretched sinful soul, saved only by grace. Yet just then, I caught myself, who in the world will choose a Christian song for such a renowned secular singing competition? (I was ashamed of myself for thinking those thoughts.)

With that I went on watching. Just as the show had come to the final few contestants, this guy came forward, and he told the compere the song he chose was "Amazing Grace", revised version by Chris Tomlin, one of my favourite rendering for this song. My eyes were almost overwhelmed with tears. The guy said, as he was listening to his other peers singing their songs, he realised indeed how blessed he is, with his family always with him, and that is why he chose the song, no really sad episode in life, just a heart of gratitude for his blessednesses. I was touched by his choice and his singing. What I least expected was that, after his singing, the judges said they were very touched by his singing and the way he expressed the song, almost felt that sense of love in it, despite it being a Christian song. And much to my surprise, he had the highest point of 20 among all the contestants in that episode, praise the Lord! I almost forgot one can choose to praise the Lord in such a public assembly, yet received such glory and also touches life! Indeed love can be seen!

I am awed.
I am touched.
So what is your song today?

Father's Love

I was reading a newspaper article today, on a Myanmar father saving as much as he can for his son to come to Singapore to study. One of the things that he said really cause me to ponder for a while, he said he and his wife do not have much...but they will sell their home and work for the rest of their lives, if they have to, to send their children to Singapore.

This really causes me to think, I must have been in such a blessed position, that all I have in life, education, family, a job, a place to stay, are blessings that I have taken for granted, perhaps sunken into a subscious thinking that it is my rightful rights to have them. Selah.

For another family, the parents' desire is to send their children to Singapore to study, and as for themselves, they have no plans to move here, so long as their children have a good future, they will be happy.

Selfless love... what do they benefit from slogging so hard to save for their children's future? After all, they are not likely going to share their children's success? Unconditional love... A love that sees not of oneself's need, but looks beyond, and only sees the desires, needs, the dreams of the one whom one loves. Selah.

If we mere human beings can have this kind of love, this love that only exhibits a greater love, (love comes from Father God for God is love), how much more will our Heavenly Father who loves us, desires to do even more for us? His sending His only begotten Son is the evidence... Selah.

Holiday!

It has been more than a month! Okay, I have been pretty busy, no time to draw, no time to blog... But life has taken on a less competitive mode, although now having to juggle studies, work and other commitments all at the same time, yet somehow everything seems to lapse into a less achievement environment, everyday is simply just completing the daily task, enjoying my studies and lots of reading. (Thank God, I love to read!)

I decided I should write a more "artistic" blog today since for the longest time, I have not drawn and published any recent works. Since I started going back to school, all oversea holiday plans are likely not possible till perhaps in December holiday or put off till next year. Therefore I decided to give myself an artistic tour today, visiting a few of the Art Biennale sites. To my own surprise, I didn't expect myself to enjoy it so much, so I wanted to share some of the interesting works I came across Today. (I literally felt as if I am on holiday, enjoying my usual museum visits... one of my favourite destinations during oversea holidays, yah, I am a pretty "boring" person, friends would normally give museums a miss.)

So here I go to show a few of my favourites. This is the containers with paper rolls "Central Promontory Site". A few interesting works are found here.I like the views between the containers. Remember those years studying architecture, when I attempted to also design a building with containers.

The following is one I greatly enjoyed, it is an exhibit in one of the containers. I dreamt of doing something similar in one of my design recently.... but was abolished due to cost... So I am happy that someone did it! It is a loop movie of "nothing much"....

I love the following art work. This is quite cool, different images through different coloured glass. Actually quite philosophical... Life.... Isn't life a bit like this... depending on how one looks at it.

The followings are quite worth noticing too... The photos should be self explanatory. The first is a small room made up of old things stacked together... memories of the past...The second is a neon swing... The third is the connected rays which only made sense from one particular view in the immense space (Actually I like the space more)...

The following is one of my all time favourites, one that I may remember for a long time, playing on the trick of illusion, in actual fact there are 2 totally symmetrical salons side by side, giving one the illusion that the mirrors are real... The details are really quite intense, even the explanatory notes are also mirror images. And take a look at the clocks!

Hope you have enjoyed the above photos, just as I did... I felt as if I had a short holiday Today... Okay, okay, time to get back to... hopefully some readings... time to study for my Friday's exam... maybe tomorrow.... Cheers!

Great Fun

It's been weeks since I last wrote! Life is pretty busy, juggling between work and study, but not sure how to put it, there is a sense of fulfillment in the midst of studying and working. It's been 2 months since I started school, half day studying, while the later half working. Quite a struggle initally due to all the rush for tender, working late into the nights with my dear colleagues who rushed with me, checking drawings over weekend from home, poring over drawings at night, marking out the mistakes in red, reading my reading assignment as and when I had time. Yet, in the midst of these, I have great fun, everyday is exciting, everyday is a miracle!

Now that the tender preparation is over, and while I step into a week of school holiday, life seems to be back to the old days yet it seems not. There are new things I want to do, forgotten dreams and things I used to do being awaken.

I cherish the time spent in school, enjoy listening to my instructors, the rustling sound of turning the pages, listening and talking to new friends made, sensing their zeal infects me. Even more strange than it sounds, I enjoy my time in office working, more than the past, not sure why, time spent there now seems so precious and fun.

What's coming over me? I am not sure, but I believe I am having great fun in the Lord! Thank You Jesus! Cheers!

Been A Long Long Time

It's been a long long time since I last wrote anything here. A friend commented that it is no fun reading my blog these days as there are no more illustrations. To be honest, I hardly have time to draw these days, but someday I will come back to them again, cos I have left some illustrations half done.

My routine life has taken on a slight change, so I was adjusting to it for the whole of last month. I have added on another role to my life, beside being a daughter to my mom, a quiet employee, now I have become a student. Been wanting to take on this role for sometime, and finally I mustered enough courage to actually go for it, after a pretty long pondering process. It's been really fun for the past one month! Rushing for tender at work, reading and doing my assignment, going to school, studying for exam, very busy indeed, but everything seems so exciting, even though I am physically very tired almost everyday, but somehow deep within, I felt it is all worthwhile! Almost everyday is exciting! Felt as if I found back a lost piece of puzzle.

That's it for now, a very short blog today, but thanks to all my friends for dropping by here once in a while, to see how I am doing, I am well, enjoying my Lord's provision! Cheers! Thanks all!

The Art of Eating

Recently I was watching a Taiwanese drama, and I was intrigued by a very simple statement made by one of the main casts. She was having a conversation with another, asking him if he has any happy memories of the past? She gave a passing statement how good memories were associated with food. For a while I thought, was she trying to do an advertisment for Taiwan to draw people to their country with the offer of good food? I felt it was a passing statement with no basis at all. However, it seems to have some truth in it as I pondered a little, as many a times we remembered places we have been to by the kind of food we had there.

Yet, that statement just lingered at the back of my mind. Only yesterday, it jumped out of nowhere when I was having a quiet lunch by myself. I suddenly recalled a bible verse, a statement that our Shepherd had said before He headed to the cross. While He was breaking the bread and passing the wine, and instituted the Holy Communion, He said as often as we take the bread and drink the cup, do that in remembrance (in memory) of Him. Didn't Jesus say something of the same effect here? Perhaps food really has the ability to remind us of a certain memory after all. If the bible says so, it is definitely so.

And as I pondered further, I began to ask why then eating and drinking evokes certain memory? Perhaps it is this... Most of the time, we only engage our sight and hearing in most activities of our daily lives. Perhaps it is only when we are eating and drinking, we are actually engaging 2 other additional senses on top of hearing and sight, our taste and smell, it then dawns on me to realise that the one act of eating and drinking engages the most senses in any activities we do daily. Plus wine does have a sweet fragrance that engages our nose, and bread our taste bud.

Moreover, if we are to notice, it is many a times our sense of hearing and seeing that cause us worries and fears, especially through what we hear and see around us. Perhaps we are so dense that our Shepherd uses our two less use senses which are tasting and smelling to overcome our weakness due to what we see and hear daily... perhaps, just a thought. Isn't this amazing? Just a thought... The beauty of eating and drinking.

Nothing Superfluous

Sometimes I wonder what Father God was thinking when He created the different elements, animals and trees, etc. Why did He create the elephant with a long nose, why a giraffe with a long neck? Why is the sky usually blue? Why is snow white? Why are leaves green and the tree trunks brown? Why does rain tree spread its branches whereas the willow hang down and sway? Why do colours of the rainbow add up to become white? Science can tell me all the above but it can hardly explain to me why. Is anything in creation superfluous?

I have learnt in church that nothing in the bible is superfluous, every single word is there for a purpose. When God is the Master Architect for the Tabernacle of Moses, there is no item in the building of the temple that is of no value of significance, every item, every socket, every detail speaks of His great love, expresses a certain symbology. This baffles me a great deal during my training in school to become an architect, and it still does. Perhaps no teacher in school taught me more on the theory of design concept more than the bible!

During my early years in architecture school, I was truly struggling every day, I have no idea what is design concept? All I thought previously was that, so long as one can design something beautiful, isn't that enough? I struggled, because I knew not how to start. I quit, because I realised my inability. I gave up, knowing that I can never design something as beautiful as even a tiny little leaf.

The above was the memory of the past. Recently, a colleague reminded me again, not that he knew of my past, but he brought up something that caused me to ponder a little. He is trained as a landscape architect, and he said everyone can design, can copy from books, can modify what others have produced to become theirs, but there is more to it, there should be more depth, the meaning behind it. Be it the tracing of even as simple as human movement pattern over a patch of grass, to mark the correct circulation path, there is more to design than just simply aesthetic.

I agreed, fully, totally. I enjoyed the process of "agonising" over forming a meaning or a concept for a design these days. I see design as a mean of expressing another depth, and it is not merely to create something beautiful anymore. I follow the route the bible illustrates, for if my Father God design everything with a meaning, for His beloved ones to explore and discover, I would want to follow His methodology, hopefully my design displays a certain level of thoughts and meaning, for people to explore, to enjoy and to ponder, just a little bit will do... just a little dream. Cheers!

Simplicity, a life of meaning

Without fail, every year i would give myself a break from work on my birthday. I would not expect spending the day with friends as all would likely to be working, but will definitely want to spend it with my family. Nothing spectacular, just a nice simple lunch together, and this year, I saw the "biggest" crowd ever, not forgetting that it is a weekday. More than half of my nieces and nephews, not forgetting my Mum and Sis in grace, spent the day with me at a pretty neat restaurant (Tao's Restaurant), nice food with an interesting concept, but the interior decor could be improved and the place can be less noisy, though I would say the price is reasonable. Can consider hiring me as interior consultant... just kidding... I was thinking of how to improve the ambience...

The above marked the first photo I placed on this blog, my new addition to my toy collection, love them, they are miniature food display, and they are so cool, that I have the intention to expand my new collection for the coming year. (One set is a gift from my youngest niece, thanks a lot!) I just don't know why, I love toys, especially cute charming little toys, and I am going to get a new glass shelves for my toys very soon!

A year "older", it did start me pondering on life, yet again (I think I think too much at times). My life has been good, simple and secure, but I sometimes wonder, is this what I really want? Selah. Guess that is too personal to share with anyone, I am always in the good hand of my Shepherd. Cheers!

3 Years! Thanksgiving

Today marked the 3rd year I created this site, amazing, it's been 3 years! And in a couple of days, I would be celebrating my birthday as well.

Yesterday, a bunch of good friends from church came to my place to celebrate my extra early birthday, to be honest, I was pretty touched, almost the entire gang turned up! Thanks to dear sister Nicole who organised, your beautiful basket and wrapping is so charming, I will think of how to use the basket for my home decor when free. Penny who has gotten the photo game and Cindy for the impromptu games. All who contributed to the self-sustainable plant, it's true it is a bit small, but thank God it is small, I am not a very responsible person, so small is good! Book vouchers from one of my favourite bookshop, though I don't really like receiving vouchers, I am glad I have gotten this, cos I was thinking of getting new books to read. Fruit from Cynthia which I didn't manage to cut and share with all, I shall finish them in the coming week as part of my salad dinner. Cake which is still in my fridge, sister, my family and I don't really take liquor stuff leh! I am trying my best to finish the cake a little by little a day, still have a quadrant, how? I like pure Chocolate/ice cream cake...hint hint for the future... And thanks Tingni's for thinking of contributing otah, my family loves otah, except me, don't know why, my mom forgot to throw that into the genes. And my mom's cooking, I love to share my mom's home cooked food with pals, so I have gotten her to make my favourite pobiah and curry.

I recalled the last time I met up with the same gang was last Christmas, and I realised I have actually missed out so much since! I didn't know a dear friend's pregnancy, another's recent career change, etc. A little sense of regret did overwhelm me a little as I pondered, I hardly have time these days to catch up with them, not because of my work, in fact my work situation is almost ideal now, it is quite unbelievable. Sorry, friends, Sunday is bit tough to have lunch together these days, and I also feel paiseh to ask you all to wait for me, it will take far too long...

Come to think of it, all these friends were made over a long period of time, 3 were from secondary school, 2 from university, 3 were from church camp, 2 were from queuing up for church service and then the group grows and grows. This is a little secret here, there was a time quite long ago I wish all the different gangs of friends in church will become good friends with one another, and it seems like it has sort of come to pass. Amazing!

No special resolution or things to accomplish, just want to thank Daddy God for my family, friends, my health and career and a year ahead of knowing Him a little more, for Jesus is my Shepherd and I shall not want. Cheers!

X & Y

Remembered I bought a new phone recently? I also changed a phone provider at the same time, after 8 years... As a result, I have to changed my phone number which has been faithfully serving me for the past 8 years. Not that I wanted to change my number, just wanted to have a new phone, and a new service provider...that was 2 months back, not knowing that IDA is going to introduce the full mobile number porting system by June, which means I can have a new service provider and yet retain my existing number. Now that it is finally going to happen, the sentimental part of me has decided to use back my old number, after having used my new number for barely 2 months, as I could hardly remember my new number instantly. So forgive me all my friends, that I have smsed you all twice to change and revert back to my number, I am just a victim of the system.

I missed seeing colourful pictures on my blog... do you? I have drawn a little recently, but they are not for the purpose of blogging. I missed drawing for this blog, so here it goes.

I was reading about the Generation Y yesterday in the papers, and I realised that I have actually been classified under Generation X due to my age, though I felt I am more a Generation Y than many of the Generation Y people I knew. (According to the test I took, I am a Generation Y, irregard of my age, hehe! Refused to be older!) So what makes a Generation Y? One that uses sms, blogs, creates website, watch online, use facebook, download songs... etc. And what is so unique about this group of people? They go for "freedom" and quality of life. Think I belong to this generation!

Today I watched a Taiwanese documentary, about people who have achieved some sort of recognition in their small respective fields. One is an ice cream maker, only at the age of 55, who finally decided to go with his dream. He said something pretty profound, he used to work, work for the sake of money, for the sake of his family, for the sake of living. Now he works because he simply enjoy his work. Another is one that perfect the skill of making chicken, how they would actually look into very small details to perfect their recipe, for the past 30 years. Amazing! Yet there seems to be one thing in common in both of them, they enjoyed themselves. First thing first, enjoy yourself, and the end product will usually end up good! Just my simple conclusion. Cheers!

Whether Weather Wetter

For the last two weeks, as far as I could remember, the weather was almost unbearable. There were several occasions when there seem to be rain arriving, but soon we realised they were just false alarms. These were also the rare occasions that I did not want to stay at home, and even felt being in office was not a bad idea after all. Not that I have no air-conditioning system at home, just that it is not available in my living dining room. The same time last year seemed more bearable, as then I still remember I was resting at home and I was able to stand the heat. Complain complain complain. I pray for rain to come soon, hopefully tonight.

Interesting to note, I ended up blaming almost everything on the weather. The attempt to draw something on the last labour day was given up, I blamed it on the weather. I went grocery shopping with my Mom, ended up buying lots of things, I blamed it on the weather. I was quite lazy for the last 2 weeks, ended up spending labour day sleeping, I blamed it on the weather. My... the blaming problem has not ceased since the day Adam fell...

This marks almost the end of another lazy weekend... Wake up little lamb... wake up. (I actually dozed off twice while watching TV just now...) Hope I will acomplish something in the coming week... selah.

Nothing In Particular

Nothing in particular to write, except just a little "frustrated", perhaps due to several issues combined recently. Been wondering,why do we Asians view ourselves as more inferior when compared to other nationalities? This is not just my opinion. Let me bring up a case in point. There was this particular day when I was walking to office, and along the way, I began to notice the advertisements of the shops. Suddenly I caught myself asking, "am I in Singapore or not? Doesn't Singapore has more Chinese, Malays and Indians than Europeans, Americans, Australians etc...?" I was puzzled, because almost all the models portrayed in the advertisements I saw were not Chinese, Indian nor Malay, and even the mannequins have blond hair... I am simpled baffled, or rather frustrated...

This is not just confined to fashion per se, even in the field I am in, similar situation surfaces. Yet sometimes I wonder, aren't we just as good, or perhaps better at times? (Pardon me, but I am not being prideful here, just want to state a point). Perhaps I can call this the grasshopper mentality, when we start belittling ourselves, or when we imagine ourselves as that, we slowly become that of what we imagine ourselves to be... Selah, forgive me, just venting a little frustration here... Cheers!

Distraction From My Newly Acquired Toy

I bought a new toy a few days ago, and have been busy with it for the past few days, surfing the net, reading online thread, sourcing for softwares etc, it is indeed a tiring process, but I am glad I am almost half way there. I finally bought a pda phone, something that I have been wanting to get for the last few months, waiting and researching on a perfect model, or rather one that meets all my needs and wants. Why a pda phone, when in the past all I was interested in was a good camera phone, and later on a good walkman phone? After all, isn't a phone just a tool for calling and smsing?

It is all because of "envy". I have a very good couple friends who each has a pda phone, and whenever we are together studying the bible, they will read me different versions of the same verse, and sometimes even possible to give me the concordance numbers and meaning of the word, something that I am unable to do until I reach home and switch on my laptop to do an online search. I "envied" them. It took me almost more than a year to finally succumbed to this "temptation" and I bought it finally after several rounds of research, between several models available in the market and finally settle for this. It is a very beautiful gem indeed, one that satisfies my eyes, one that is of simple minimalistic clean design, and yet meet all the functions I would ever want. I did ponder a few months back, should I get an iphone (it is now quite easy to find one here, though it has not been offiicially brought in yet), or a pda phone, and finally I settle for the latter, main reason being the ease of getting the softwares and the functions I really need rather than the beauty of iphone, the functional me at work again. I thank Daddy God for this new phone, now I can bring around with me "several books" plus a mini "laptop" in just one simple phone, and if those real books were to be carried around, I think I may need a luggage! Not to mention it is also a simple camera and a mp3 player (though I still carry a separate camera and mp3 player with me everyday). I hope I will not let the full capability of the phone to go to waste... (Pardon me for "boasting" about my new toy, it is such a blessing to me! Guess my joy has also indirectly influenced my niece to get the same phone...)

This new toy is indeed a distraction to me from what I originally was planning to do during the last week, draw and paint more, I repent. Two weeks ago, I was indulging in my drawing, and a week after I am indulging in my new gadget. Oh, I wonder what I would be doing next week... I will try to promise I will not talk about my new toy here again! I just hope my friends can share my little happiness here now with me! Cheers!

P.S Yes, friend, thanks for your comment, I am indeed talking about you in the last post. When are you free anyway, to join me for a service? Cheers, Jesus loves you!

朋友

昨天与一同学美术的中学同学一块聚餐。我们也已认识了二十出年了吧！说也奇怪，同班也不过只有两年，而自从毕业以后，我们也最多一年见上一两回面，但大家的感情还算蛮好的。当中也有好几位已彼此成立了非常要好的友谊。不需常见面，但一旦见了面，便有谈不完的话题，这就是朋友的定义吧！

当中有许多也已成立了家庭，生儿育女。大家也在不同的领域努力，有的离乡背井，有的还在执著与美术有关的行业，有的则为家人奋斗，各自怀着不同的目标与目的努力生活。也只有在象昨天的那种环境里，大家一同约好停下脚步，歇息一下下，聚一聚。

其实我还蛮珍惜这群好友。回想十几年前吧，我时常在那时祷告，希望这群朋友有一天也会了解与接受耶稣对他们的爱，我恳切地祷告与祈求着，因为我过去的想法很单纯（其实现在也是），只有这样，大家才能做永永远远的朋友。这也是我唯一不敢自私，自己独享的礼物。

今天也以华文书写，因为有一位老同学看到我上周也用华文写我的Blog (布罗格？)，数落了我一番，是乎不敢相信我还会用华文书写，这就是我，不肯认输的我。虽写的不好，不过我还是写了！朋友，服了吗？希望有一天你也会和我一同去教堂。我们有约哟！

感激

已三个月没画画了。也许是工作回家后都已觉得蛮累了，根本提不起劲，头脑似乎也空空的，没有什么灵感。

前几天收到一份包裹，第一眼还以为是好友寄上他们的画展请帖，所以也就没立即打开来看。（朋友，不好意识，当时真的有一点累。）洗澡过后，打开一看，原来是一本几米的书，一本曾听他们问我有没有买的书，如果没有，想送我。我之前也还以为他们是开个玩笑，没想到他们真把书给寄来了，好感动！朋友，谢谢你们，你们旅行还好玩吧！我是蛮喜欢这作者的书，但时常觉得他的书太感伤了。这本道出他的图书的故事来源，我在短短的几天就要看完了。谢谢你们的鼓励，有好朋友真的好幸福。

也因为如此，今天破例，我用华文书写，表示感激。我真的很享受画这些小图画的过程。但也许也已画了快三年，有一点累了，我开始想突破，画出一些能改变人的小图画。我的意识是，我开始贪心了，希望它们能带一点点快乐给悲伤的人，掀起一点点希望给放弃的人，让人看了心理有股温软涌上心头。我没打算改变世界，只希望朋友看了脸上多了个微笑，多了点勇气，这就是我的私心。也许也就因为这样，我开始想认真的改进我上色的方法，并认真的想想自己应该如何继续。

I finally touched my paintbrush again today, and finally painted one of my sketches that I did months ago. I really enjoyed the process, thanks, friends, the "book" encouraged me to pick up the paintbrush to paint again. And yes, I will not be posting much work these days, I am thankful to Daddy God, that this blog has started me drawing again for the last 3 years. Many sweet memories evoked in the process, and many of the works posted here have been my practicing ground, as means for me to improve and experiment. I enjoyed this blog, and enjoyed drawing for this blog, however, it has come to a point that you may hardly see new work now, not that I have stopped drawing, no worries, I will continue, because this is what I love to do, but I hope to keep them to myself first, maybe occasionally will share some here.

The above will mark almost the last artwork for this blog for the meantime. A piece that I greatly loved, but I wished I did it with shadow effect to express the depth I wanted to create, may touch up someday. This is one piece that I did not actually want to publish, but think it is good to end with a favourite, so here it goes. I think I will still continue writing though. Cheers. Jesus loves us!

Sweet Memories

It's been weeks since I last wrote. Chinese New Year is over, and since my trip back from NY, the pace of life seems so fast. One doesn't seem to accomplish much, though a lot of things are waiting to be done. Although I did not work late, yet upon reaching home from work, I tend to just want to sit in front of the TV rather than before my laptop.

Recently, I seem to be flooded with lots of old memories. My godfather, he used to be my neighbour, visited me every 3rd day of the Chinese New Year. I, being the youngest child in the family, with all my siblings so much older, even my youngest older brother and I are 11 years apart. I used to love standing outside my neighbour's house, as they have 5 girls, and every time while I stood there, I always hoped they would open their door to welcome me in to join them in their games, be it cooking, game of pretending, playmobil, etc. That was when I started wanting my Dad to buy me more toys, perhaps subconsciously, I hope my neighbours would want me to play with them because of my toys, I sounded pathetic...

I did have a great time though, playing with them. That few years broadened my ability to imagine, as we played so much of the game of pretending, and legos and wooden blocks and manjong to make houses etc, and how all those experiences have translated me to enjoy architecture now. As I got closer to them, they made me (actually my mom asked) their goddaughter and that is how our relationship lasts till now even after we had moved house about 20 years ago. Sweet memories. Thank God for them, that I have great childhood playmates.

For the past 3 weeks, I caught up with 2 old friends, both from university. In fact, I hardly spoke 10 sentences with one of them in school then, I believe. Yet, how strange divine destiny works. We happened to meet last year at a wedding, realizing that she might be my colleague, and since then, we have been keeping in touch regularly. And now, only recently, I met up an old friend too, how we have lost touched for so many years, though we did briefly met 2 years ago. I believe in God's restoration, time of renewing old friendships, time of putting away old prejudice, time of starting afresh, learning to change the way we used to think, allowing Daddy God to make a difference in our lives, and learning to accept others just the way they are. Learning to wait, and to accept things as they are, though not necessary what you want them to be, but trusting Him that all things work together for good. Cheers.

This week shows one of my favourite recent works, it was done about 3 months back, I loved it so much, I was quite reluctant to show it in this blog, except that I have not completed any new art work. The thing about me is I love to keep what I like most quietly to myself including my artwork, for own enjoyment, and this is one of those, it seems a little "lonely" at first, but it isn't so. I love it, the serene and quiet starry night. Show you the actual picture next time!

P.S. Actually I wrote this a week ago, but wanted to add a little more before publishing it, but I was so busy that it took me till now (2 March 08) to look at it again.

Home at last, Rest

Touched down yesterday. Slept whole day yesterday, jetlag. Went to work with lots of things to rush before Chinese New Year while running a high fever Today. Doctor said "Office wouldn't care about our health, I should just go back home to rest." Anyway, didn't listen to my doctor totally, went home only at 3plus, after meeting. (Fear crept up, what if I cannot meet my dateline next week, cos of all the Chinese New Year break? Already arranged for meeting, how can I not appear and be on MC when I was the one who requested for the meeting? Drawings need to be sent out today before our holiday break. Etc etc.) Ponder. Is this the kind of life I really want? I "flared" up Today for the first time since I returned to work last year. Sign of stress. Selah. Rest, rest, rest. No more the old way of doing things for me, I need to rest in the Lord in whatever I do. Grace grace.

I shall post some cute illustrations soon, did quite a few before I left for NY, but they are all not coloured. Had a great flight back home, pardon my ignorance, for the first time, I took a direct SQ flight back from NY, it was so spacious even for the economy class! There is a continuous supply of snacks at the snack counter. The first time I felt I travel "in style"! Praise the Lord! All airline economy seats should be like this! One don't feel that bad or uncomfortable due to the long 18 hours flight because of the comfort on the plane. Thank God! Okay, time to go and let my body rest again...body must be tired out due to the extreme weather difference and having to adjust to all the time difference, etc. I go rest now, so as to enjoy my Chinese New Year holiday! Cheers, I am alright! Blessed Chinese New Year!

Coming Home

I am heading home tomorrow, praise the Lord! I missed our hawker food, mee siam, you tiao, etc etc... I have been taking sandwiches for lunch for several days, I simply cannot understand why one would want to eat cold sandwiches in winter... I miss home cooked food, miss church, miss home...

However, the trip is fruitful, learn a lot, not in skills per se, but rather learning to work with others... (I know all along I am not an easy person to work with, for several reasons, for the good of the project, wanting to be efficient, having pretty high standard, wanting to complete as much within a short time, little patient for slowness, okay, okay, all these are excuses.) I did enjoy the process this time, all praise to the Lord again.

Finally caught a musical today, or rather yesterday, since it is already past midnight. We just bought any reputable musical and watched, my colleagues and I, with me sort of influencing them to watch with me. We watched Mamma Mia, one that I didn't manage to catch when it was showing in Singapore. It was cool! We had a good time! This caught me sort of addicted, to go shopping tomorrow or should I watch another musical (hopefully The Lion King) before I rush off to catch my flight back. Guess I will know my final decision tomorrow, likelihood is both! Cheers, see you all back home soon!

A Few Days More

Into the second week working here in NY, I am still adjusting to the time difference, the cold weather, the waking up in the middle of the night. The hardest being working with total foreigners. Speaking English to foreigners seems to make me tongue tied, though sometimes I felt I seem to be right, due to my limited vocabulary, I ended in the wrong, selah. Grace grace. A time of learning, to be calm and collected, almost every moment having to look to the Lord for direction and strength to stay cool.

I am going home early! I got my flight changed to an earlier date, praise the Lord! (Hopefully I can finish my work on time though.) 3 days before Chinese New Year, instead of the original 1 day before, so I should have enough time to catch up on my sleep. This time round, I didn't have much time to see NY, and have yet watched my musical, though I did bring my colleagues on a short condensed tour in NY, and catch up with an old friend shopping. (Come to think of it, actually quite fruitful in many ways except the material part, as in shopping, as I hardly buy anything this time round.) So dear ones back home, see you all soon during Chinese New Year, and I crave for my Chinese New Year goodies! Keep some for me! Cheers and Shalom!

4th Day

I have been here for 4 days. It is really quite cold here, though it has not snowed since the day we arrived. Work has been busy, though not exactly like working OT everyday, but lots of eating with local working partners, brainstorming and getting used to the working culture locally. Fighting the jetlag is no easy task, I am pretty alert in the middle of the night, waking up at 5am only after 4 to 5 hours sleep, and feeling drowsy in the afternoon while working, even after being here for 4 days, still adjusting.

Work has begun, though still much waiting to be done, I have tentatively asked for early flight home if possible (hopefully reach home 2 days before Chinese New Year, still on waitlist). It is a pretty steep learning curve, working in a totally different culture, working with totally unfamiliar people (this is my main difficulty), coping with pretty incredible timeline, yet Daddy God has indeed see me through thus far.

Tomorrow will be a day of seeing NY again, now in winter, and perhaps do a little shopping and or catch a musical, while bringing some of my nice young colleagues around since I have been here before, hopefully I will not end up showing them the wrong direction... grace grace, wisdom... cheers! Send my regards to my loved ones back home! Jesus loves us! Know that I am well and healthy!

Back to NY City

I reached New York after a long 24 hours flight. Travelling to this part of the world is not exactly fun to me, mainly due to the long flight, especially when one is restricted to a tiny seat and time seems to have travelled backwards by 12 hours. (I had 2 breakfast meals in a row, one before transit at Frankfurt and another on my way to NY, scary!) I will be here for 2 weeks, working, and I am already missing some good Chinese New Year goodies.

Of course, one can keep focusing on the negatives, and lose sight of what Daddy God is doing. Therefore this must be recorded down. All thanks to Him, we were greeted on our first day of arriving in NY with a snowfall. We had a light snowfall after we reached our hotel, and we are indeed quite excited, though it was not huge enough a fall to make snow balls and snow man. (This being my secret desire. Previously it was raining and not snowing...according to my understanding.)

To be honest, this trip was pretty rush for me, and I had made no plan as to what I would want to see this time round, since I had saw most of the stuffs I wanted a year ago. Therefore my free time here (if there is any, perhaps weekend), will really be free, hopefully indulging in a musical, visiting art galleries again, or spend some time reading in Central Park. Selah.

Dear ones, don't miss me too much, this time round I am likely not buying things for you all, since it is not a tour but work trip. Whoever is free, call my mom and tell her I am well, typing this blog to pass time, so as to sleep a little later in order that I will not wake up in the middle of the night. Cheers, my Shepherd with me always! Will keep in touch this way!

Slowly moving ahead

3 weeks! December 07 was really a very busy month, shopping and preparing presents, planning Christmas parties, be a "photographer" for my niece's ROM using a fully automatic digital camera! (Cannot believe this, thank God for a good auto camera.) And finally when all were completed by New Year's eve or so, I was exhausted, and rested from updating this blog till now. The last 3 weeks were total indulgence, watching TV, shopping (for myself now), and working etc.

Today I was reminded of a thought I had several months back while I was walking home. How strange it is, have you every ponder on the fact that when 2 unknown parties are walking in opposite directions, that is the only opportunity for them to see each other's face. When 2 unknown parties are heading in the same direction, they never really get to see each other's face, perhaps only the back profile. Just a thought, nothing philosophical (actually a little). Perhaps only in life when we meet people moving in contrary direction to ours, do we really get to know one another? Just a thought. But the moment of encounter is very short and should be cherished. It is also an opportunity to learn to see things from other's perspective, a growing and humbling process.

The above is a colour pencil/water colour sketch I did several months back, during my resting period, finally decided to post it here, as I did not have any completed work for quite a long time. (I do have a few sketches but I have not sat down to colour them yet.) I really enjoyed my series of silhouettes, that series of work was done with more attention to detail, unlike the past, which also marked a change in my attitude towards my work perhaps, now to do everything with enjoyment and skill, at a slower but detailed pace, while at the same time picking up new skills to improve my works, to be good and skillful at what I am doing. Lifelong learning... selah.

Wish all a Blessed New Year! May you have a wonderful 2008 with the Lord, our Shepherd! We shall not be in want!