Sunday, December 13, 2009


It has been a really long time to finally decide to just pick up my mini laptop and write. I just want to write on the Person who loves me most, always, relentlessly, fully, totally, never giving up on me. Sometimes events of life bog us down. Sometimes, the necessity of living, the many issues arising out of daily living cause me to lose sight. But Jesus is always here with me.

I am not troubled by anything now, if I sounded so above. I just learnt ever since coming to know Jesus many years ago, what a long and tedious journey I have walked. Yes, indeed, I studied and read a lot, yet now what really thrills me is, simply the Person Jesus, not about what to do and what not to do, not about what is the fruit of the Spirit or the gift or calling, not about how to reach the world for Him, not about how to be more successful by applying the word, though all these are good, but simply Jesus, only He can satisfy.

I am reading a book by Watchman Nee, “The Normal Christian Faith”, causing my eyes to see what I understood in my heart. I am quoting from his book. Hope you enjoy them. He wrote the following:

…You can see clearly that the whole issue is not about doctrine but about a person! Our basic concern is not doctrines. Rather, it is seeing who Jesus is! Once we have the Lord Jesus, we will have real satisfaction; we will be filled with the sense of having acquired everything…

…What Christ proclaimed persistently on the earth was not His doctrines but Himself. The focus is not the doctrines but on the person…

…It is not the practice of His teachings that makes a Christian. Rather, it is a relationship with Christ that qualifies us as one…

…This is the work of the Lord Jesus. His work is just to bring men to realize who He is. He never let go of the fact that He is the Son of God. This is the essence of our faith. It declares that Jesus is the Son of God…

…Christianity does not emphasize doctrines. Rather, it emphasizes the person Christ. Even when some doctrines are mentioned, they are few in number, and when you go about expounding them, they always point back to a person…

The above are just some statements from the book that I underlined while reading. Why do we always love to complicate matters? Come back to the simplicity of thing, everything is about Jesus, because of Him, through Him and for Him only. Life is so simple, everything fades away, cos everything that matters is Jesus, and Jesus alone. When we keep our eyes on Him, everything becomes of no matter anymore. Life becomes simple and meaningful, life is worth the living, just for Him and Him alone. Shalom. May you find out how much He loves you, and enjoy a wonderful intimate relationship with Him always, from now to eternity.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

People Who Move You On

It is completely quite interesting to go for a 2-day architectural conference and realized that 2 of the speakers taught me before. I was drawn by the title of the seminar “Architecture for Humanity” and not so concerned about who the speakers are, when I wanted to attend.

It reminds me of God’s goodness to me many years ago when I was in school, that’s what prompted me to write this now. Suddenly memories of the past streamed right before my eyes.

I remembered I had a very difficult time studying in architecture in year 1, though I had a little fine art background. Therefore, most would think that to assimilate into architecture would be simple for me. But I really hated architecture after one year of school, especially doing design. For it seems that nothing I designed seem to please the tutor, and my subconscious aim then was trying to please my tutor. I had no idea what design is, what is a concept, worse of all, what architecture is for, I totally did not understand the fundamental basics of architecture.

While I was struggling through life during this period, I stumbled unto the narrative module, and the content was to produce a piece of architecture out of studying 2 artworks, one by Escher and another by Mondrian. That to me was the beginning of architectural enlightenment, I wanted to create a building that resembles Mondrian’s on plan, but carries the essence of Escher in space. It was the first time I saw something I had never seen before. Roof unfolded to become wall, and then to become the ground etc. This kind of concept was nothing special now, everyone does that, but about 15 years ago, this was totally quite unthinkable. Yet, despite of the fact that the idea was pretty unique, I failed to present it well to the examiners. Much to my surprise, my part-time tutor stood up for me then, and explained on my behalf. I was touched till this day. Thank God for that. I could not say I did well, but it was one of the better grades I had gotten so far for design.

Several years later, after I had escaped from my fear of design and returned to architecture to finish up my additional degree, I met another tutor that helped me. (I seemed to have a tendency to run off from problems….) it was the final year project. By then, I knew within my heart, that something seems to have dropped into my life, a small little seed of passion for architecture, a seed only possible to be planted there by God and not by myself. I got my first “A-“ in design. I remembered this tutor telling me, a good architect will also need to look into the details, something very simple but stayed with me till this day, and he was the first one who gave me an “A-“ and wrote sort of a commentary for my design.

The reason why I thought of these 2 incidents was, in life, there will be people that we will meet, some will affect us in a negative way while others, unknowingly will give us a push and move us to the next level. Perhaps they never knew what they did, but I was helped, and I thanked God for them. What a coincidence, both are speaking at the same time. Thank you Father God for You certainly can use people to help us through in lives. Thank God for reminding me again. I could never have understood and appreciate these incidents then, but now I do.

Monday, August 10, 2009


Wow, it is life back to normal supposedly, after I finished my 10-month full time study, with a personal study trip to China with my classmate and a personal rest trip to Tokyo. Life's so good in the Lord! There are so much to talk about for the past 1 year of my life, yet I shall not bore you all with the details unless anyone of you are really interested to hear my story. It was a wonderful journey, or rather, the beginning of a wonderful journey, which I am still in the process of walking. The last one year was to get me started on it.

I really thanked God for this period of time, a time almost totally spent with and in the Lord, enjoying Him, almost every single day, this is life, this is life indeed! There is no way to explain it, and one has to experience Him for oneself, indeed, taste and see that the Lord is good, and only Him can satisfy, nothing and no one else.

The last trip to Beijing was an eye-opener, the trip to Tokyo was a wonderful trip with the Lord, though I travelled with my good friends, I did have some personal moments, just the Lord and I, walking the streets together, enjoying the architecture, shopping in the supermarket, on the subway, etc. Strange as it is, I really enjoyed all the little moments of solitude. Though I still enjoy being with my friends, of course. Yet, only His presence satisfies truly. I realised and learnt that I don't have to do what is supposedly considered godly activity to enjoy His presence. I don't necessarily have to be reading and praying every moment to enjoy Him, though these are really really very very good activities. In the midst of our busy schedule, normal life, we can simply enter into His presence, by just knowing that He is ever with us, and engage Him in your activity and commune with Him. At that moment, you just simply know that He is there with you. What a wonderful truth we have.

Yes, indeed we don't go by our feeling, yet, somehow that feeling will just come when you realise that Jesus is always with you, and when you start conversing with Him. It is so wonderful, life in Christ! Engage Him in your life, you will love every moment of it! This is life indeed!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Rivers of Living Water

While reading a book by Watchman Nee yesterday, a present from a friend, I came across a portion that the author said he knew of someone who when one came into her presence, one is changed. The bible says that out of the believer shall flow rivers of living water. Therefore it should be normal for one who comes into the presence of any Christian that one be transformed, as the living water should quench the thirst of anyone.

This reminded me of someone I met recently in China. I knew not her name till this day, though we stayed in the same house for 2 days. While I was in China, I stayed over at someone’s house, and this lady was always serving us, preparing meals, and also praying. We hardly held any conversation except that we exchanged a few smiles. On the day when we were leaving to go back Beijing, she sent us off at the airport, and gave each of us a huge long hug, while at the same time praying for each of us. I can never forget that moment of hug. I actually felt the tangible love of God flowing from this woman unto me, which I am unable to describe, but simply amazing and it went right into my heart. Later on, my friend told me that she felt the exact feeling too, that something so tangible went right into her when that lady hugged her and prayed for her, she sensed the love of God.

Today while reading the book, this incident was played again in my heart vividly and I was touched all over again. That woman knows the love of God. That woman is constantly in the presence of God. She has rivers of living water flowing right out of her that can impact the people around her.

We have rivers of living water inside us. We quench thirst by His living waters. My desire. Only God can. Shalom.

Sunday, July 05, 2009


Back from China to Singapore 4 days already. it’s been busy at work, and also needed time to rest my body, I have yet settled down to take stock of what happened in the trip.

I learnt a valuable lesson over the 12 days in China. A question that floated into my heart, “How can a man has so little yet felt he has so much? And how can another man has so much yet felt he has very little?” I realized that it all matters in the heart, what one’s heart is filled with. When one’s heart is filled with love, it doesn’t matter what you have outside, you simply felt you have everything you will ever need in life. The love of God.

I saw lives that live passionately for One, their beloved Savour, Jesus. They give whatever they can afford and much more. They know with all their hearts that they are the beloved. They serve relentlessly, without holding back.

The hospitality of the people I met there was tremendous, way beyond what I could imagine. Their passion and zeal are contentious. In fact, I felt they have received more spiritually than I thought possible. Their trust and faith were strong. I am impacted. Their love and zeal are infectious.

I have learnt much, by the grace of God. Selah.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Thank you...Jesus

Wow! I have almost forgotten that I have a blog! Good to record down some events of the last 2 months since I last wrote.

1 more week, and I would have finished school. Really enjoyed greatly the last one year, it's been a very wonderful journey. And to know that I have actually finished my course while working at the same time is a miracle, all praise to God! Got to know several good friends, though we worship in different churches, yet it is so so good to have friends who know they are the beloved of the Lord and have fun times fellowshipping, though I hardly have time to fellowship with them, as I had to rush straight off to work after school, but whatever little time we spent together, I cherished. Felt there is a special destiny for us to meet and be classmates.

But most of all , I have received, had my mindset changed, and something has happened to my heart which I am not sure how to describe, it is simply great! It was a time of great reflection into life... and a time of just pondering on the One who loves and knows me best, my Lord. Thank You, Daddy God for this opportunity, Thank You Jesus for the grace that has helped me through, in the midst of work, big family events, etc etc... truly it is His grace, I still find it amazing that the assignments can be completed on time, have time to do new projects at work etc, time seemed to have multiplied during the last year, each day has lengthened just for me... though at time lacking in sleep... Thank you Lord!

I thank God first of all, for my mum, ever so supportive of me going to school...
I thank my brother for always buying me breakfast... sending me to school for taking graduation photos...
I thank my friends for being my reference, and also attended my graduation... and my family members for attending! So touched!
Definitely I must thank my boss for giving me favour, allowing me to study in the morning and work half day...
I thank all my teachers for revealing Jesus more to me... ever so precious... so so good to just hear about this every day for a few hours... so so good... so soooooooooooo good! So privileged!
I thank God for all the above, and many things that He did for me of which I am not aware of... Thank you for this precious present and opportunity to study... with no worry about finances, etc etc...

I sure will miss school... I am not sure what's next, but I am really excited, cos I am in Christ, and He is my Shepherd, He leads me... So blessed am I!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I Miss You

It was in 2007.

Have you ever had a continual sense of loss and discontentment despite all seems going well outside? You could still be going about your daily chores, reading the bible routinely, attending church, listening to sermons on a continual basis, reading Christian materials, doing what others felt a devoted Christian should be doing. Yet in the midst of it, that sense of loss and frustration increases daily, unknowingly.

It was in the year 2007. The industry was booming, everything around me was doing well, including career, family, and all. Yet there was an increasing, surging unrest within me, a point of tipping over, of going under, of breaking down. Perhaps it was the increased workload, or perhaps it was the promotion and seemingly added expectation from people, perhaps it was the unconscious self-imposed pressure of proving myself more. Perhaps…

The condition of my heart began to take on a change, and soon I was in a state of great confusion and frustration. My thought took on a toil on my physical body, and it started reacting to my thought life. I lost my peace. I was irritable and was horrible to be with. I felt working with myself unbearable.

I slowly lost sight of my Shepherd, the one who has equipped me all along. I fell out of grace, trusting in my own effort and achievement, into the world’s mode of thinking. I cannot see good even when good came.

Voicing my frustration, justifying my terrible behavior became a norm, trying to find comfort in friends. One thing I did learn was that, the more I talked about my problem, the bigger the problem seemed, somehow it magnified by my speaking about it. The more I expressed my anger towards someone, the anger seemed to increase. (I personally felt the idea of expressing one’s hurt and frustration vocally to friends does not work. I pray that the Lord will always teach me to refrain my tongue from speaking evil.) Yet, I could not remember now, if I ever really spent some time confiding to the One who loves and cares about me most, perhaps I did, but for sure I didn’t let Him speak to me.

I quitted my job finally, blaming my workload, bosses, colleagues and all, but never myself. I felt I needed rest. I did what I thought will bring me peace and contentment, I drew, I read, I designed on my own, I travelled, yet that emptiness didn’t depart. I did that for almost 5 months, feeling that that should do the work of removing that frustration, discontentment within. Yet that feeling lingered on even when I was already in my 5th month of rest.

It was finally at this point that I realized I should seek the Lord. I finally asked Him why. It was then I heard the least expected reply, or rather, the answer.

“I miss you.” He spoke.
It was a tender voice, not audible, it came from within, but it was more than enough to impact me. I finally understood. I had gone about living life as if the life I lived was mine.

That was in 2007. Yes, I am back working, and coping with my studies. Today, I realized it is not the workload. I am still loaded with work, yet the workload did not carry with it frustration. I also realized it is not the people or circumstances around us that affect us. It is the state of my heart, that needs continual recharging, and that can only comes by spending time with Him, talking and hearing from Him. Life without Jesus being involved, will end up being in frustration for sure, it is just a matter of time before it has gotten so big that one realized. Frustration happens when we lost sight of the One who loves us most and gave His life for us.

“I miss you, I love you”. The voice of the Shepherd speaking to His sheep.

Monday, February 16, 2009

My Neighbour

It’s been a month since I dropped by! Having my short school break now, that explains why I drop by…

More than a week ago, was my Mum’s birthday, when the entire family of 21 persons were gathered together for dinner, as the yearly custom was. On this particular day, after dinner, we all decided to head to my place to take a family photo together, and also to sing the birthday song over the birthday cake with my Mum. Therefore while the other family members were heading home, a few of us rushed to the nearby shopping mall to get a cake. While the rest were waiting for us in the car at the roadside, my niece and I headed to the cake shop, very focused on attaining our purpose, after all so many people were waiting for us at home.

On the way, we saw a crowd gathering, and like most curious Singaporeans, we passed by quickly while at the same time took a quick look. To our dismay, a man, probably in his 50-60s, must have fallen down, and there were some blood on the floor where he was lying … (and to write the following, I am being vulnerable to all who are reading this) At that instant, I was already engaging my mind, looking at him, in an attitude of “judging”, my mind was already faster than my heart could take over. Perhaps, trying to look concerned, I began debating with my niece if we should consider calling the ambulance (of course we should call, that goes without asking!), and what numbers to call. Yet, we still headed to the shop after a short pondering, after all, a car was waiting for us at the road side, and a huge family waiting for the cake at home. Moreover, there were so many onlookers, surely someone must have called the ambulance by now, I reasoned within.

As I held the cake in my hand, we passed by the injured man again, this time, a lady was already wiping the blood off his head, and at that very moment, I could hear my heart crying out, saying “ You could actually do that, offer that little bit of help… that isn’t difficult”. Doubtless, my reasoning was faster than the compassion of my heart earlier on. Selah.

Why am I sharing this tiny fragment of my life recently? Because as I was reading a certain book recently, there was a mention of the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible. When Jesus was asked who was our neighbour, He shared this story. Our neighbour is whoever is around us and who is in need. The Samaritan fulfilled the role of a neighbour when he stopped in the midst of his busy schedule, to help someone who was in a position in need of help. Both the priest and the Levite, people highly regarded in the society, perhaps, after considering too much about their roles and positions, viewed it not befitting to offer help. It is as if at that moment, God was asking 3 persons, who is available? And only a Samaritan answers the call for help. Two responded with their brains, while only one responded with his heart.

I suddenly realized, how often in life, I acted more like the priest and the Levite, though many a times when I read this passage from the Bible, I almost despised the attitude of the priest and the Levite, trusting that I surely would act like what the Samaritan did. I finally understood, I identified myself with the priest and the Levite. I saw my self-righteous attitude…Selah. Yet, in the midst of all these thoughts, to my surprise, I felt loved, and not condemned, being very thankful to Daddy God. In and as of myself, truly there is nothing wonderful, for without Him, I am nothing. At that moment, I am reminded again, this is how Daddy God chastens His beloved child, through His loving word of life. Again I realized how much I must be loved by my Daddy God that He bothers to teach me with His loving word.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Heaven & Earth

A whole new year has begun, my school has started on a new semester. It is again a time of adjustment for me, after a one month break. In fact, I was really tired out for the last week, going to bed as early as 1030am as and when possible. Soon, I will get used to it again, praise the Lord!

Recently I have been pondering, and also at the same moment, very grateful for the time I am in. I am glad I am of this age. I am glad I have the opportunity to receive an education, the ability to read, the freedom to study, able to write, design and draw, to express myself and my belief. Much more, the freedom to love, to share the One I love, it may not be big gestures, but as simple as writing on this blog. Thank you all for coming here occasionally to read my thoughts, enjoy my art, and hearing me speak of my beloved Shepherd, this is my little platform of expression that I have been blessed with. And thanks for all the comments, I receive them with joy.

Reading on the history of the church, I am thankful. Thankful for those who have gone on before us, those who have given up their lives to give us what we have today. I read of the early church, how many were persecuted for their faith, how many chose to hold on to their belief and be killed, how many have preserved writings, risked their lives for the Word, so that we get to enjoy it today. I am indeed very blessed. We stand upon those who gave up their lives to give us what we have today.

Just last week, I heard someone said this to me, and my heart was moved, I believe I will remember this for a long time to come. He said the following:

Earth is the only hell we Christians will ever be in, yet Earth is the only heaven a sinner will ever know.

Take some time to ponder on this and be blessed. Indeed, this place where we are now, is the only place where we as Christians will ever experience sorrowful tears, heartbreaks, disappointment, frustrations, etc. However, this is also the only place a sinner will ever catch a glimpse of heaven through our lives, we are living advertisements for our Shepherd in this place in whatever field or influence we may represent or have. We are the Rep for our Shepherd here. Selah.

I am grateful that I can play a part. Guess no one is in a better position to reach the people around me than me, and no one can reach the people around you than you. What a blessed position and honour we are each given to play a part in. Thank you Shepherd. May You work in our lives, not of us, but all of Christ! Cheers!