Apple of His Eye

It's been 2 weeks since I last wrote. A bit exhausted mentally and physically, having very little zeal to write or even draw, though the idea for the above image was already conceptualised a week ago. I could not muster enough courage to draw the eye, as any discerning person who has read and viewed my illustrations in my blog would know, I tend to avoid drawing the front view of my Shepherd. To me, no matter how good an artist I am or I could be, I can never draw Him accurately, even several times when I attempt to draw Him from behind, I felt the proportion wrong or inadequate. He is so marvellous and perfect that I don't see myself capable of drawing Him to His full extent of beauty or ever will, until perhaps when I see Him face to face...

This would be my first attempt to draw a portion of His face (although I have attempted to draw His hand before), even that, I was aware of the inadequacy of my illustration. My desire to draw a compassionate, merciful, loving and yet powerful eye is beyond me, and no amount of my vain human imitating could possibly illustrate this image to the way I desire, therefore I trim the eye to a very limited portion, just to bring forth the concept "apple of His eye".

Meanwhile, I am glad that it is a 4-day break starting from today, as it is Chinese New Year again. No great plan for this season, and since I hardly do visiting these days, I shall take this opportunity to rest a little, really need that. Come to think of it, one either read that I am so busy, so tired, need a break etc in my blog, that is really nothing else left..... guess this career in architecture is really drawing too much out of me, though I know that I should "let go and let God", "quit trying so hard and just believe", "enter into His rest", etc, it is simply that perhaps I have yet come to the end of trusting myself.... It is not easy though it is simple. For the past week, I have dreamt on several nights in a row, of changing the layout plans of my residential projects, meeting the clients, going to site, etc.... scary... people have nightmare, I have "workmare". I have enough of residential projects, despite of how many times I mentioned this to my boss, it simply does not seem to register in his mind that I have enough .... I think ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I don't want to take any more lip service.... One thing becomes clear to me all of a sudden today, it is vain to put my trust in man, only Jesus can we trust!

Sigh, enough of complaints. My blog has become my avenue of voicing my complaints. Forgive me, my desire for this blog has always been to illustrate His wonderful love for us and not for complaints. I believe after this 4-day break I shall be better. I know the breakthrough is ahead, Lord, give me the courage! I wish you all a blessed Chinese New Year! Only in Him can we trust! No worry, pals, I am fine.... just a bit cranky today.