So In Love

Wanted to write on this, though it sounds really mushy, but then it is as it is. Reading and now responding to my friend Dialogismos’ blog on the “singles”, perhaps, one of those friends she was thinking of would be me, I suppose. (Come to think of it, I have a close group of friends, strong, independent, many are good-looking singles, yet ever so wonderful to spend time with.)

Crazy as it may sound, I am deeply in love, with my Shepherd, not sure why, but as the days go by, through all these past 13 years, that feeling of being loved by Him has not lessened. And the more I see the weaknesses in me, even the unlovable me, and the more I see Him, the more I realized how unconditionally I am loved, crazy it seems, I also am not sure why. I never felt really lonely, and yes indeed and only when close ones, colleagues, even superiors, who would say things as “she is single” etc, then I realize “O yah.” Yet many times I feel I am more loved than anyone else, with a sense of great gratitude within me, thank You my Shepherd. His love for me has never failed to amaze me even till now, and I believe, till eternity.

So many wonderful little things happened in the past week. One thing that amazes myself was that my design was criticized by a client with great cynical comments, I was caught with great wonders that I manage to stay cool headed, using that incident as a joke later on. Perhaps in the past I would even stand up, slam the desk, give him a nasty look, walk out, and the next day, just handed in a letter to my boss (so drama, watched too many TV dramas). This has to be Him in control, phew! Thank God that He taught me to work as unto Him and not unto man, and in all my undertaking, I know I have put my heart into it, therefore I am not ashamed.

However, just a few days ago, I actually lost my cool over a small incident, over that assistant that I have, for taking too long a time smoking, while I needed an urgent document he had when he was out smoking. Sigh, that was when I tried with all my best not to be angry with him, and yet all the more I am with him. My trial will soon be over, he is leaving at the end of this month finally! O God, please speed up the process! I really cannot stand him, only You can help me!!!!! Help!

Yet 2 really small incidents happen that add spices to the week, giving me such great unspeakable joy, that I must pen it down. A dear friend of mine, knowing that I am a great fan of David Tao, sent me a sms, informing me that she saw his latest MTV, about a song that is so gospel like in its lyrics. Due to the nature of her work, which I am not at liberty to explain more, she even sent me the full day time schedule for the broadcast of the MTV for me to catch on TV. I was deeply moved, not so much by the song, but more by her act, His love for me through a friend, thanks dear, you are a gift from Him!

Another crazy, almost unlikely thing happened. Remember I wrote I hope to get a ticket to watch the Superband final? I did several checks online to ways of getting the ticket, and almost announcing it to the whole world (I mean to all my friends), I want to get the ticket. (This is my way of giving Papa God no way to fail me! Ha ha!) Just as I was giving up, my lovely assistant told me she got me a ticket to watch it. I was awed, almost unbelievable, a miracle has happened, and I am reminded again in that instant, my Shepherd sees to all my little wants in life. Thanks, lovely assistant, and most of all, my Shepherd.

I know I am deeply loved by Him, all these little incidents are physical manifestations of His love, I would not say I need them, but having them is really great! I am truly very blessed, a wonderful family that is always there for me, dear friends that know me, accept and love me just the way I am, these are just some of His everyday manifestations of His love for me.