Painting is a passion, Architecture is my rice bowl, Cartoon is my dream, but the Lord Shepherd is my All.Life’s dilemma entails a great deal in decisions. Everyday, we are challenged almost at any instance, to make decisions, some are harmless, some constitute great impact to our future while others create no small impact to others. Be it deciding what to eat for lunch, shall we watch this movie or that, what shall I do next, this project or another, shall I take up this job or not, shall I accept the Lord’s offer of salvation, etc, they are decisions we have to make at one point or another, some may have great consequences.
The 1st real painting since I started my working career, has finally finished yesterday, after a week of fulltime painting (with OT but done willingly), now in the touching up process. Looking back, I only painted twice for myself, once close to the turn of the year 2000, and the other one, now. Those I did in school were mainly to fulfill school’s requirement, and in fact, I was doing more designing than painting in the past since my secondary school days. I realize only recently that I actually quite like still life, and composition of different methodology of presenting an artwork, and I didn’t know I can actually paint quite well…(boasting here), that my Daddy God has actually given me a gift that I hardly use all my life… At least not too late in discovering it now…
Architecture to me is still a love-hate relationship, though through the years, the Lord has helped to dissipate the hate aspect more and more, and love for it has increased at a very fast pace. To be honest, designing is not 2nd nature to me, it seems that I always have to go through a process of deep quietness, a pondering process, even at times struggle, almost to the extend of needing to seek the Lord for breakthrough each time, and perhaps it was precisely because of this, there arised a “dislike” of it, as everything seemed so unsure, yet it makes me ever so dependent upon the Lord, as only through architecture, can I see I am nothing without the Lord. Yet the satisfaction when the idea drops from above, is beyond words.
Drawing cartoon is a dream I had as a child, seeing my brother drew cartoons at the corner of his book and flipping it quickly always amazed me, and Walt Disney (the person) is always an inspiration to me. To produce cartoon be it in the form of a book or even a movie (dreaming still) that captivates the human heart is a dream… For cartoon unlike art found only in museum and gallery, is a layman’s art, that anyone can relate to, and this is what I really love, I call it art for the simple folks, cos I am also simple.
Now in the process of in between jobs. I have difficulty deciding the next step, indeed… I have. To be honest, I am afraid, as I didn’t want to be trapped in the mindless attempt of struggling to keep up with the schedules in work anymore, all seems so vain and crazy, the rush, the datelines, the occasional “rejections”, abortive works, now that I am out of the picture, I can see it objectively. Change, is it possible in this line? Can Architecture be to me a hobby rather than a rice bowl? All things are possible with God.
Amid all these, a decision... only the Lord knows the next step… He leads me beside still waters, He leads me in the path of righteousness for His name’s sake… Meanwhile, I am still in indulgence… Selah.
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