Success & Burnout

It’s been quite sometime… I went through a small ordeal the last week, was it food poisoning or stomach flu, I am not sure, and I don’t care to find out more. Just knew that my body temperature went up and down and my digestive system seemed to be working at a very strange pace, I could not sleep at night, and yet too tired in the day. It was quite a bad experience, thank God for healing and that it was over. Life is slowly getting back to normal.

I was trying to finish a book and finally it was finished, not that I enjoyed it greatly, but there are surely some interesting things to learn from it. There are 2 portions where the author was talking about “success” and “burn-out”, the later was something I am interested in, since I had had a taste of it 8 months back. He said one of the things that intensifies burnout is a lack of willingness. And this willingness depends on resting, allowing our soul and our spirit to be refreshed and replenished, before we can give our all.

How true! Memory of those burnout days swept before me, I felt depressed, overworked, not restful, and most of all, unwilling to do the things I was doing, and that marked the beginning of entering that terrible few months. Now that I am at a state of being able to look back and laugh, I can understand the issues clearer, perhaps the steps to be taken to avoid falling into the same state also become clearer. Before we embark on any undertaking, surely we need a willingness to do it.

Next is about “Success”. What does each of us deem success as? Perhaps, as a student, you see it as having good results. As a working adult, when you receive your promotion and a pay rise, or being appreciated. As a parent, your children listen and obey you, and that you bring back more than enough bread for them. As a businessman, you clinched the best deal in town. Yet all the above seem so temporal and shortlived. Therefore we continue in our pursuit of what we deem success day in, day out, and we work harder and harder, rarely do we say enough is enough. We fall into the trap of getting the world’s ideas of success: fame and fortune, power and pleasure.

That perhaps was what I was pursuing unconsciously, unknowingly, slowly I was falling into the world’s system, thinking the more I achieve, the happier I would become. Selah. The book was good in this aspect, the author brought the focus back, if we are to analyse carefully, what we really want in life is contentment, fulfillment and satisfaction. This is real success.

Just sharing some thoughts, today’s writing sure sounds serious. Anyway, make a guess of the illustration above. Have a blessed, full of peace, week ahead!

A Day At A Time

Yeah, it is a public holiday today! Didn't quite understand its significance for the last 6 months when I was resting as there was no difference then, until I started working again. Working life is like heaven since, and I pray it will always be, and I realise running project that is on construction actually isn't that bad, it is quite fun for the past few weeks, seeing what I designed slowly materialising, though there are many areas still need improvements, yet in the process, I learnt what to design and what not. Running a site project is more focused, doing one thing at a time, though I still love designing. Anyway, I am doing this supposedly for these few weeks only, but perhaps, I should consider doing this scope of architecture for a change, life seems less hectic and more focused. Selah. (Though I still love poring, searching and thinking over a design concept, it is like uncovering a mystery, and when you find it, there is a joy unspeakable. And I still love drawing, and drawing and drawing plans, imagining spaces, visualising how it looks like in my mind.) Yet, my Shepherd knows what is best for me, live and enjoy a day at a time.

Didn't have much to write for now, learning to talk less, hear more, just felt that I should upload the illustration, so here is the "Dancing on the keyboard" cartoon for this week. It was completed quite a while back, somehow it has a very "Christmasy" feel to it. Praise the Lord, Christmas is just round the corner, and I am really excited about it! Time for Christmas shopping again!

Right Place Right Time

Today a most appropriate incident to describe as "at the right place at the right time" happened to me, I was almost "in tears" when it happened, which I would want to record it down for future reference. Today, as per normal (for the past 2 weeks), I knocked off on the dot, and headed to take a train home. There was a faulty line from City Hall station to Marina Bay station, and the north bound train platform was swarming with people, I had a huge shock when I saw the crowd. Wanted very much to get a seat and read in the train, I would sometime take the train that is Marina Bay bound (south bound and then loop back to north bound), which would take me an extra 10 to 15 minutes to reach home, but it does not really matter as compared to having a seat to rest.

Realizing my hope was dashed when the announcement said that the next train going to Marina Bay station will take an hour to resume service, and right before my eyes, the north bound train platform was of an unsual huge crowd, I decided to take the west bound train to Raffles Place, hopefully I could at least get up the north bound train, at an earlier station before City Hall. Upon reaching there, the crowd was almost as large as the City Hall's crowd, standing right outside the gates waiting for the north bound train, and I have almost no chance to go any where near the gates, therefore I ended up standing near opposite (the east bound) gates instead. Just as my heart was about to feel disheartened, the most miraculous thing happened. An announcement pronouncing that the train at the east bound gate (the door was widely open, and the train totally empty) was leaving for Jurong East via Woodlands (going north bound). I could hardly believe what I heard. This had never happened to me in my many years of train taking experiences before! I got in, grabbed a seat, and got my little dream answered right at that moment. I felt I was literally being at the right place at the right time! People standing at the "rightful" gates came rushing in, but only manage to get standing spaces. Not to mention people at City Hall can hardly get into the train.

At that instance, seated at my miraculous seat, I felt loved, privileged. The beautiful confession came right into my heart at that very moment, "indeed I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus". I was almost touched to tears at that very instance, thank You Daddy God. Right place right time.