Cravings

I have some crazy cravings these past couple of weeks, that explains the above illustration. There was a season of craving for durians, then the donuts from Donut Factory, at times sweet potato soup, and bo bo cha cha (coconut made dessert). Perhaps I am really so free these days that I can start feeding my changing appetites? Guess it is also time to go back to work as I still want to remain trim and thin, instead of constantly satisfying my physical "hunger". Selah.

Having finally launched "www.sevenbyfive.sg" it is as if a little dream fulfilled. Though there are a few times since, that I wish if only I knew how to do this, or do that, I would have improved it better... Perhaps a little impetus thought of going for a formal course in web design did cross my mind, though I am quite sure this is not going to change my career path, but just wanting to learn something new, that's all. Yet, I still enjoy the process of "self-discovery", testing out on my own, and the joy of discovery new methods of doing things, even though this is a more tedious process.

Taking a full week to decide the next step, didn't really change anything it seems, and I really have to step out in faith, trusting the Lord to hold unto me as I move forward. This is not easy, starting out afresh, taking a step at a time. For the past 3 months, I have heard perhaps close to 10 persons, coming to me and saying that I look better now, as one who has less stress as compared to a few months back. I didn't know that taking such a rest could have such a great impact on how I look. I did have a good rest, though not really adventurous, as in going holidays, but it is so unlike the past, for a whole 2 months, I do not have to rush anything, meet any datelines, or seek anyone's approval. Perhaps the only pressure I felt was self-imposed, "so when am I ready to start working?" It is like those old Disney's cartoon, with the angel and the devil popped up on the left and right of Donald Duck, I almost wanted to draw this for today. On one occasion, I felt I should work, on another, I think maybe I rest for another week... Sounds familiar?

This is like a little war going on in the mind. Wondering if life will take on a similar hectic schedule like the past, would I still be "stressed-out" or "burnt-out" again? Can I do something different this time round? Would I have the opportunity to design something different? This is what went through my mind, no answer to them and it is all about "I", "me" and "myself" if you noticed. This really sounds faithless, when one starts turning inwards instead of looking at the Shepherd, almost losing sight of the One who holds my future. Stress and fear come along when I lose sight of my Shepherd. May I be reminded again and again of this when I embark on the next step.

Today I have launched another blog "Baa & Meow" at www.baa-meow.blogspot.com. I have mentioned of doing this a few months back. This one will take on a more pictorial form, less word, moving towards more comic strip format, and I have created Little Lamb generation 2 to match the Cat I designed earlier. No funny strip for this week yet, just the introduction, and I need to think through and be inspired a little. Hopefully my neighbour's cat will provoke/inspire me in the following week.

So, keep one another in prayer, not sure what to pray? Just pray in the spirit for me then. Jesus loves you all!

www.sevenbyfive.sg

Why a blog posting in the middle of the week? Because today we finally, officially launch our website www.sevenbyfive.sg. With its beautiful date 25 July 2007, a number easy to remember with the name of the site. It is my first humble attempt to design and create a website, not exactly very user friendly yet, still improving, but has finally fulfilled one desire of mine to pick up this skill, a desire 4 years ago.

This site is created out of a love for arts and design, and consists of the 5 of us, 2 artists, one producer, who is presently very busy with her job, and 2 architects, one of which is me. So do drop by our website to take a look at our gallery/photography, our little virtual shop, not really meant to make big bucks, but if it happens, all glory to Jesus. The price of things may seem to be on the high side, but we have to cover the material and delivery costs... plus we really handmade the stuff, personalised arts, and not mass produce... therefore this explains why. And by the way, we are not a firm, we merely just want to do some fun stuffs together, that's all.

So today's blog is just to keep a record of the special day and do some publicity on the new website, do drop by when free, we will try to update it regularly with new art works and news! Cheers, may our Shepherd bless our website!

Durian Durian

Not sure why I have been wanting to eat durians these past few weeks, though I didn't really eat a lot, perhaps just ate once. This may explain the above illustration, just for joke, no criticism for the building at all. Hope you catch it. Anyway, more durian illustration to come in the next week.

Life takes on a slow, steady and homely state for me for the past few weeks. There were days when I would stroll to our nearby neighbourhood town centre for a walk with my mom during lunch, and we would detour to the durian stall to see people standing around, smelling, shaking the durians, to choose what they deemed to be good ones. We didn't buy any, but the joy of just looking at this thrilled me a lot. As I beheld them, I saw the simplicity of life, simple pleasure, simple things. I relished in them, strange, for several years, I actually was too busy to indulge myself in such activities, which seemed a waste of time, sounded so sad indeed.

I declined a work opportunity that I applied for, not sure why, just didn't feel it is right, it could be just my own feeling anyway. Am I too choosy? Someone suggested that, perhaps I am. Yet I am still at a crossroad, and I have decided to stand at that junction for a few days more. Thank God, sometimes the most unlikely person says the most heartwarming thing. My sis unknowingly was talking to me about taking this break to decide whether to move in the same direction, or choose a greater challenge or find a easier, more relax working environment for the next step instead of hurrying. This was precisely what I could not decide now. More challenging job? Less taxing working environment? Another direction?

It has been 3 months since, not that I didn't feel the pressure of not working, I do, I felt I should, as a responsible adult, yet at the same time, I am still quite "disillusioned?" Architecture architecture architecture... So I delayed again, or rather, has to start all over again, has to read and see where I would want to apply again. Hopefully I will send out some letters soon, hopefully... pressing the "send" button is not as easy as I thought it to be after all. Cheers... sheer indulgence... My Shepherd is still in charge!

"Siansation"

Wednesday 11 July
Not sure why I felt so sian today (sian = bored, empty)… felt so empty and lost… I went for an interview finally after resting for the past 2 months (or was it 3?), I decided to start afresh, start working again. It was not that the interview did not go well, in fact, it went pretty well. Yet, why do I feel so disillusioned… Selah. Kept asking myself, is this what I really want to do? I am really not sure… Keep me in prayer.

Friday 13 July
It has been a thinking week for me. Felt as if I am standing at a crossroad. Felt exhausted, and therefore I took several naps to stop thinking... “Escapism”. Yet I know, He will surely show me the way. Interesting fact was that, today as I stepped into a particular place for yet another interview, I desire one day I get a chance to design something of that nature rather than working in that environment, in that split second, I seem to see a little bit of what I hope to do… a little light dawns… There is really so much I wish to learn, want to learn, hungry to learn…

Sunday…Monday
The above illustration (part 1) was drawn in my mind last week before an interview. Part 2 was drawn after the interview, though I still didn’t know which way to turn, but I know for sure My Shepherd knows which way. It is really time to start working… Lord, remove the “siansation” from me! And show me the way.

And please do not allow me to be a bad influence by the above blog title, it is still going to be a great and wonderful week ahead for us because our Shepherd is leading us!

It is a beautiful date today 070707, perfection! Strange and coincidental as it sounded, we arranged to meet up after 7 years of graduating from architecture today for a few old classmates. Meeting up and realised, some have changed line, some are still in the same field, but one thing I am really curious is, do all still share the same passion as before, or have decreased or increased.
I have finally finished the first draft of what I set out to do for the last 2 months, done my first own pictorial editing, now it is in the safe hands of my niece to edit the text. Missy, feel free to be really critical about it, as if you are a reader and not someone who is acquainted with me, k? And tell me the truth, I can take it and improve on it! Guess I at least took a first step towards a dream… took me almost a month to compile… Guess to draw another one will take me another 2 years, I suppose? Will start on that when I finally start working in the real world again, that will be my pastime hobby.

Before getting back to the draft again for 2nd editing, I finally moved on to start doing something else, actually it is learning something new. Trying to master two softwares for the last 4 days simultaneously was really quite a struggle, though it was fun and challenging. I just could not help myself, almost the 2nd thing I did every morning after I woke up is to switch on my laptop and start experimenting, and trying out again and again, to see if there are alternatives to achieving what I wanted to do. Yet not being versed in them, I felt somehow handicapped, and I really need wisdom from above. Grace, grace.

So as one can see, I hardly have time to sleep, as my mind is working on duo processors, I didn’t draw anything for this week, as I have been so occupied with all the learning, not to mention attending seminar to earn points to renew my practicing license for next year. Therefore posted above is a very old painting I did in year 1999, theme “people”. I hope perhaps next week I would finally sit down to draw another comic ( have one funny architecture comic boiling in my head, just no time to draw it out). As for that dear friend of mine who mentioned she prefers my architecture series, hmmm… I am still not going towards that direction, as I still prefer to use art as a mean of expressing a feeling, a heartfelt gratitude, or a tool to encourage someone, rather than a weapon for satire and criticism… And one thing I am sure, I still love architecture… I just hope no one will do the same to my design in future, selah, so I will be merciful here.